Who Will You Fight For?
When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?” And the commander of the Lord's army said to Joshua, “Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.” Joshua 5:13-15
Around three years ago, I ugly cried on the kitchen floor after the ultrasound revealed we were having twins. Our family had just moved back to Iowa and we did not plan on having a third baby, let alone a fourth. I squeaked out some ugly prayers, and I bitterly questioned why He would bestow such a heavy burden upon someone like me. Children are great and all, but didn’t He know that I was already overwhelmed? With the addition of the twins, we would have four kids, ages three and under. Didn’t He know that I would be less effective for the Kingdom with this additional responsibility? Wasn’t God for me and ready to fight my battles? This isn’t what I had planned! As my world felt like it was crumbling and growing smaller, I questioned what God was doing.
Earlier this year, I studied the book of Joshua and was stunned when I reached Joshua 5:13-15. After savoring the passage for a few days, I was brought back to that moment on the kitchen floor where I hashed out those nasty prayers. I couldn’t help but stop and praise God and His mercy and patience with me. I wouldn’t have reacted with such mercy and patience with my child if they had reacted to me in that way. As I analyzed my kitchen floor meltdown through the lens of Joshua 5:13-15, a few universal truths surfaced:
The Lord doesn’t always fight our battles.
It’s not all about us.
We are a part of a bigger picture.
#1 The Lord Doesn’t Always Fight Our Battles
As Joshua prepared the Israelites for the battle at Jericho, he met a stranger (Joshua 5:13.) At this point in the text, Joshua was in a wartime mentality and was focused on the upcoming battle. When he saw a stranger with a sword drawn, he understandably sought to determine the nature of the visit. In verse 14, Joshua asked the stranger if he was “for us, or for our adversaries” and the man replied “no.” The authoritative response of “no” to Joshua’s question is such a biblical mic drop moment, isn’t it? The angel didn’t answer Joshua’s question, because Joshua hadn’t asked the right question. The angel wasn’t fighting for Joshua’s army or the army of Jericho; he was a warrior of God’s army.
The holy warrior’s purpose wasn’t to consult Joshua about what God should do next but to give battle plans to Joshua. I don’t know about you, but I often switch the order of leadership. As much as I like to fight stereotypes and buck against trends, I’m a creature of this age. I am completely obsessed with myself and I’m shocked when the rest of the world isn’t equally captivated with what I’m doing. This noxious ideology saturates my prayers as I ask God to support the ministries I’m spearheading and ask Him to bless my endeavors. I want Him to fight my battles as I charge ahead. Seldom do I sit in His presence and ask for His battle plans and direction. While prayer for the flourishment of the Kingdom is in no way a bad thing, there is a nasty sliver of pride that I need to keep in check, especially when considering who is in charge. News of the twins inflated that sliver of pride into a full-on egotistical breakdown when I considered the infringement on my plans and my time and my resources. My posture was not one of obedience towards God’s direction but towards my own interests.
#2 It’s Not All About Us
The concept that our lives aren’t all about us seems odd, doesn’t it? The more that I learn about God, the more that I understand how little I actually control. Time, resources, health, gifts/talents, finances, and relationships are all gifts from God and I am merely the steward. All things have been given and all can be taken away. As I read about the conversation with Joshua and the holy warrior, I couldn’t help but laugh as I reflected upon my own kitchen floor meltdown. I metaphorically stormed the throne room of the eternal, living God with complaints about my plans and my time and my resources. Wasn’t I essentially asking Him, “are you for me and my plan or against me?”
Throughout scripture, individuals who meet the Lord face to face share a common reaction: they fall to their faces. In Exodus 3:6, Moses encounters the Lord at the burning bush and “hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.” In Isaiah 6:5, the prophet Isaiah fears for his life when his “eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” When Joshua came face to face with the heavenly warrior, he appropriately fell to his face and worshipped. Unlike my kitchen floor tantrum, Joshua realized that respect and honor are due when standing in the presence of God. Joshua immediately realized his position within the heavenly ranks and appropriately adjusted his posture.
He fell to his face and worshipped the living God. I have to wonder what our prayer life would look like if we took the same approach. Would we list out our prayer requests with an inflated arrogance or would we sit in His presence and ask for direction?
#3 We Are A Part Of A Bigger Picture
I often wish there was an extended version of the Bible. There are so many passages that seem to leave out some juicy details. I would love to read the “Director’s Extended Version” of this story and learn more about the meeting between the angel and Joshua. Was Joshua relying on his own strength and direction rather than God’s, even though the two battle strategies happened to align? Was the purpose of this supernatural meeting to realign Joshua’s focus? Joshua is frequently noted for his faithfulness and obedience to the Lord; why was a divine intervention required in this way? Once I’m on the other side, I’d love to ask Joshua about this supernatural meeting over Manna Lattes.
Regardless of the exact purpose of divine intervention with Joshua, we can glean that we are all a part of a bigger picture. There is a greater story being woven and we are all vital components of the bigger picture. Much like a paint stroke can’t see the larger painting, we can’t see the grand masterpiece. He is creating with us. He may grant us insight into parts of the painting, but we can’t see the whole composition. My prayer is that when we encounter the living God, we would approach him with a posture like Joshua. Instead of asking Him to support our battles, I pray that we would echo Joshua’s words in verse 14 and say “What does my lord say to his servant?” As we stand on the sidelines of the battle ahead, I pray that we would stand with our armor fastened and prepared to charge ahead at His signal.
My Bigger Picture
As I held my beloved sons for the first time on June 12, 2017, I questioned why the Lord would bestow such precious treasures to such a despicable person like me. Didn’t He know how rotten and selfish I was (and am)? Didn’t He hear my horrible prayers and my ungrateful heart on that kitchen floor? In His mercy, He entrusted me with these two lives, despite those nasty kitchen floor prayers.
As I came home from Sammi’s funeral, I praised Him for the 855 days I got with her. I praised Him for His guidance as our family encountered the mountain of grief ahead. I praised Him for the flourishment of His Kingdom through her story. I praised him for the unplanned gift of those sweet boys to soften my heartache. Today, October 16th, I’m praising Him for 856 days with two of the coolest little guys I have ever met. And while tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, He has given me so many “yesterdays” to be thankful for. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and patience with me.
As you approach this week, who will you fight for? As you approach the throne room, will you ask for direction or will you demand allegiance to your plans?
My sweet boys at 855 days old
